I have very bad news. AI is already taking jobs away from people. Not through its exceptional brilliance or by outperforming everyone, but in a rather unremarkable way – neural networks, infamous for their short-lived memory and numerous errors, vividly highlight our laziness, disrespect for others' and our own time, fake productivity, and other professional inadequacies.
I have very bad news. AI is already taking jobs away from people. Not through its exceptional brilliance or by outperforming everyone, but in a rather unremarkable way – neural networks, infamous for their short-lived memory and numerous errors, vividly highlight our laziness, disrespect for others' and our own time, fake productivity, and other professional inadequacies.
But how exactly does AI accomplish this? I can't disclose everything, but more than willing to share a few 'tips' for those eager to be at the forefront of the AI-induced professional debacle.
Perhaps the most important thing: when engaging with artificial intelligence, conveniently forget that actual living beings will have to deal with the aftermath of your AI-assisted endeavours. It’s surprisingly easy – a convincing AI generator assists its human operator in executing numerous tasks with minimal conscious effort. Your role? Simply hit the 'Send' button, bypassing any tedious discussions or revisions.
Next up, let's dive into some 'best practices.' Here, you’ll discover an array of ingenious strategies for efficiently sabotaging your professional integrity and eroding audience trust.
Editors and Translators
Translate from one language to another without so much as glancing at the content (editing is optional), and promptly dispatch them to the website/publisher – let the absence of coherence be the tech department’s headache. When confronted with questions about 'general ambiguities and gaps', stick to the truth – inform them that tokens in GPT occupy exponentially more space in your language than in English. To bridge this technical and cultural (because language matters!) gap, propose that the tech department trains LLaMA locally on your own precious content.
Be persistent The universal language of open dialogue and a nudge towards inevitable modernization will undoubtedly charm your colleagues. The resources liberated from your role will befairly allocated by the tech department for the procurement and of an emotional support animal.
Journalists and Media Managers
▪️ Cut costs on purchasing photos from news agencies: illustrate an article about a strike in Australia with a series of protesting schoolchildren images generated by DALL-E, paying meticulous attention to detail – the fact that these images are not from actual photojournalism should be your little secret, safeguarding your readers' trust, right?
▪️ Employ ChatGPT for fact-checking – after all, it's omniscient! Should doubts arise about its infallibility – enlist 'experts' to fine-tune it with your data (details below).
▪️ Declare an AI-Hackathon on a hot topic that's virtually nonexistent online. Here's where AI OSINT truly comes into its own. Select your platform with care – the Oxford Internet Institute will do. When a horde of professional investigators flocks to the event, entertain them with a detailed exposé of your OSINT tools from 2009. Should they have any questions about AI OSINT, stated in the name of the event, express deep concerns about its ethical application of LLM in media.
Bloggers
▪️ Keep asking GPT 3.5 to search something for you or ask it questions. (because humanity invented large language models to replace that tiresome Google search bar). Hunt for errors in its responses, document them for your articles, and expound on how dumb this AI is and how pointless you find it. This strategy will definitely pay off – audiences love clueless authors, and someone, after all, has to entertain them. While looking for TRUTH, never touch Google Bard for your queries, promise?
▪️ Help spread photos of a six-fingered Palestinian boy on Twitter – without your so-called activism, freedom of information is in danger;
Experts
▪️ Skim through scientific articles and ask ChatGPT to write texts based on them with special attention to conclusions and necessarily from the first person. Present the results of someone else's experiment as your own conclusions – you could lose invitations to public events even before, and now it will happen to you much more effectively! Or even cooler, for those who don't have time to read at a glance – use AI capabilities for reading PDFs, then in 'your' reasoning there might not be a word of truth, except maybe the title. (Those who highly value the randomness of the generative process should like this, it's a miracle)
▪️ Spend the night refining the era's best model on internet-found trash dialogues. In the morning, enlighten everyone about AI's profound stupidity and blatant rudeness.
▪️ Transcribe someone else's two-hour training session, convert it to text-to-voice, and market it as a unique educational content. Your audience won't forget this!
▪️ Generally, read less, talk more about the unknown, take interviews, and above all, lazily predict the future with AI – that's what makes you an expert, right?
Academic Intellectuals
Conflate the capabilities of ads targeting with those of large language models – after all, they're all corporate-owned tools of global surveillance. Declare that ALL MODELS are terribly BIASED (or, even better, self-censoring – this will cause more astonishment and drive people to delve deeper into the subject – you're an advocate for enlightenment, after all). If someone dares to counter your claims with reason, ask if they have a PhD. But worry not, since you've never really worked and no one reads your publications, neural networks pose no personal threat to you, except perhaps for those annoying ads.
Community- & Event Managers
As a community manager committed to honesty and transparency and overseeing a group (this is just an example) of Prague Media School alumni and AI enthusiasts. Embrace the new era and utilize AI for planning your New Year's Eve activities. Just input a one-sentence prompt into an AI (forget about context or audience details!), and without reviewing the results, forward them to the event producer (she asked for ideas, after all). Should it suggest activities like 'a Stable Diffusion poem contest' or 'a unique design card-making session', there's no need to worry about their implementation – after all, you're not working there … anymore.
Artists
▪️ Subject your finished work to Computer Vision scrutiny, followed by an immediate GPT-generated description – a swift method to assure viewers of the absolute absence of meaning in your art. And hey, feel free to skip the Computer Vision step.
▪️ Tell your clients that you've had an artistic breakthrough and all your new pieces are meticulously hand-painted. Don't delete your old works from the internet; everyone appreciates a compelling “before/after” comparison. You're aiming for an effect somewhat like this:
Curators
▪️ Commission a young artist to create highly crafted AI generated images for your exhibition. At the opening, boldly claim they were crafted b another ( world famous ) artist, while the young one just “hit the buttons”. Even better, forget to mention the young artist at all! Be boldly and forever offended by everyone who didn't get this joke – they probably have no illusions about you either.
▪️ Craft AI-generated announcements for exhibitions where artists have invested hundreds of hours; the best way to demotivate participants and repel audiences.
Designers
Send your client 40 image variations from Midjourney, created with a basic one-word prompt. Adherence to the brief isn't mandatory – who really knows what lurks beneath the model's hood? Do make an effort to specify a style in the prompt – Gustav Klimt or Wes Anderson works for all, regardless of the brand guidelines. Remember, a good designer's duty is to educate the client: at the very least, request they respect your effort and provide feedback on each of the forty images.
All Computer Users
For an exceptional display of career missteps, confidently tell your boss: "Playing with AI isn't on my busy schedule, ma'am." Truly, there's no louder way to shout 'professional growth' quite like ignoring crucial trends.
And… no hard feelings, okay? 😘
